October 9th, 2010


Saturday Letter . . .

Dear Neighbor Who Lives Next Door:


We have never met, which is a fact I find hard to believe.  Because only people I have met AND with whom I am very familiar, are allowed to wake me up before the sun hits the horizon.  I am going to wager a bet that your alarm clock going off every morning at 6 am and continuing to buzz until 7:30 am is your attempt at negative reinforcement, so I will come to your door and we can meet. (Negative Reinforcement says I am more likely to engage in a behavior that eliminates an irritant or aversive stimuli.  By the way, I’m a psychologist.) Did you know there are other ways to get to know your neighbors?  I know you don’t know my email address or my cell phone number.  And I am sad to say (not really, but it sounds better if I say that I am) I am not on Facebook or Twitter.  Thus, I take some responsibility for our lack of meeting.  However there is one method that has been around since . . . well, Jesus was a child. Maybe you are familiar with it?  It’s called knocking on someone’s door. Of course back then you had to wash your feet before you entered someone’s house. I won’t make you wash your feet. But I do have a “no shoes” rule. I have cute socks I can loan you, however.  Wait! Where was I? Ah, yes.  TURN OFF YOUR DAMN ALARM CLOCK!  PLEASE!  J


Not A Morning Person Yours,


Tracy Dickens


P.S.  If you have died and your alarm is preset to go off every morning at 6 am . . . I am sorry I am a prat neighbor and have failed to send the authorities to your apartment.  But in my defense, I do not know your email address or cell phone number. How am I supposed to check on you?