Dear Neighbor Who Lives Next Door:
We have never met, which is a fact I find hard to believe. Because only people I have met AND with whom I am very familiar, are allowed to wake me up before the sun hits the horizon. I am going to wager a bet that your alarm clock going off every morning at 6 am and continuing to buzz until 7:30 am is your attempt at negative reinforcement, so I will come to your door and we can meet. (Negative Reinforcement says I am more likely to engage in a behavior that eliminates an irritant or aversive stimuli. By the way, I’m a psychologist.) Did you know there are other ways to get to know your neighbors? I know you don’t know my email address or my cell phone number. And I am sad to say (not really, but it sounds better if I say that I am) I am not on Facebook or Twitter. Thus, I take some responsibility for our lack of meeting. However there is one method that has been around since . . . well, Jesus was a child. Maybe you are familiar with it? It’s called knocking on someone’s door. Of course back then you had to wash your feet before you entered someone’s house. I won’t make you wash your feet. But I do have a “no shoes” rule. I have cute socks I can loan you, however. Wait! Where was I? Ah, yes. TURN OFF YOUR DAMN ALARM CLOCK! PLEASE! J
Not A Morning Person Yours,
P.S. If you have died and your alarm is preset to go off every morning at 6 am . . . I am sorry I am a prat neighbor and have failed to send the authorities to your apartment. But in my defense, I do not know your email address or cell phone number. How am I supposed to check on you?